Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Princess for a day

Friday 22nd December I was a princess for a day!

I bitched and moaned at Paula all week as I did not want to go "shopping" on the last Friday before Christmas. Words to the effect of "stupid muppet why wait so long????" and "My only day off and she wants to go bloody shopping"!!! Etc etc

Well first of all it was cold and we sat in the train stop cafe drinking tea waiting for Charlie. Then when she arrived we went for breakfast at the square kitchen cafe.

Then me and Charlie had 10:00 snack, (Paula didnt want cake shes too thin for cake!!) after which we brought me some new shoes!

Then we went to "change Paula's spa appointment" 3 glorious hours later I was facialed, nailed, and haircutted.

Then I get home and my houser has been cleaned by people!!

THEN my Husband talks me out for dinner.

I have the best friends!!!

Christmas dinner

well it was fab I didnt cook it this year miss Bell did!! It was so yummy my tummy hurt but I kept eating!!! Noah's first christmas, we had way to many toys but it was great.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Also the spiders are back!!!

Was merrily sitting in my business class on Tuesday night when I heard a scream from our Tutor. Then Paula who was sitting next to me lepted up from her chair with a scream and pointed above my head.......
Well it was like a scene from aracniphobia..... This spider (huge) was hurling itself down from the ceiling towards my head!!!!!!!!!! I rang a hid behind my tutor, Paula and the rest of the girls til one brave lass got up and squished it.

See so they are coming back for us they haven't forgotten beware!!!!

Sunshine on a rainy day.....

Got a letter from James Bond the other day (Sir Roger Moore) it was a thank me for all my support to Unicef this year.
I had been having a bad week (as you may guess from my previous post) and this letter which was really a plea for more money, so moved me with all the little children suffering and not having clean water to drink, let alone Santa coming with presents.
They are fighting for life everyday and all the thing we take for granted are pure luxury for them.

Really I am so blessed.

I'm not belittling my previous post those feeling are real and painful, I have a problem, and need a positive way to deal with all my grief. This letter made me think I'm not the only one suffering. I have friends suffering from depression and stress. So I'm not alone like those people dying from disease that cost as little as 2.5p to prevent!

Have been listerning to Westlife lately don't know why, only one song.... Flying without wings... it makes me think that I have such beautiful children and I'm not alone. I am married. I have a husband how ever crap he is at times, he loves me and supports me and puts up with all my crap, grief and hormones. I love him. And whats wrong with being Shrek and Princess Fiona! Still a princess!

Saturday, December 09, 2006


No this is not a post about Bob....

According to the book I'm reading, given to me by my wonderful friend Charlie I'm a Princess!!! It's not one of those books about men and women's power struggles etc and stealing their 'wind'.

It's meant to describe the search for a woman inner soul, and how it can get lost along the way, in amongst the busyness of life, children, work and husbands.

At first I thought nothing of it but the more I've read the more I think yeah that's how I feel....

I remember dressing up as Cinderella and pretending I was beautiful. I admire characters like Maria in the Sound of Music so plain, and in no way a match for the Countess looks wise yet she has a rare and beautiful depth of spirit. It is this spirit that captivates the Captain.

I want that meek, calm, innocent spirit. I know a lady who has such a spirit I think she's the most beautiful person I've ever meet. I strive to be like her she is a wonderful mother, a loving wife and a great friend. She always seems to make time for people even though she is sooo busy (as she has four kids!) herself. She always tries to be helpful and puts herself out for others. I long to be like that.

I wish all these terrible things hadn't happened in my life, losing so many people I love, I wish things were not so hard at home and that my children were less demanding. I wish so hard for my happy ever after, my life is not how I imagined it would be. I thought once I got the husband and the children that was it fairy tale complete. Disney/Hollywood never shows you the life after happily ever after. Pretty woman doesn't end with Julia shouting at Richard for leaving things on the stairs causing their child to fall down them.
In Last of the Mohicans Nathan says "No matter how long it takes, no matter how far - I will find you" not " What for dinner love?? I'm starving!".
The Beast doesn't stay a Beast he becomes a handsome prince.
Sleeping Beauty wakes up, Snow White comes back to life, the frog becomes a prince all from one kiss. (I wanna be kissed like that again!)

I have another friend who is so beautiful and has (without sounding gay) a body I would kill for (maybe slightly bigger chest :-)) but still she gorgeous. I would love to be her right now, freedom, and no responsibilities.
I love my family and wouldn't change them but they never tell you in fairy tales about stretch marks and other unpleasant side effects of pregnancy, like gall stones.
The wonderful awe of a newborn baby, then reality kicks in after 10 months sleep deprivation. I mean how do cleb mums do it... oh look I've popped out this baby, I'm a size 8 again, my hair is perfect, make up on and not a stretch mark in site! I love Britney, she looked so dog rough after her kids and she wasn't ashamed, cause you know what she human too!

My other best friend is so beautiful too, she is so kind and caring again she puts herself out for others and always is available to talk and cook!

Maybe I should stop whining!? Maybe I should just get on with it!? but part of me is so unhappy right now that its killing me. A piece at a time I feel I'm (Me/Lorna) is dying, and that I am becoming a whole other person. Someone I don't want to be, someone who wakes up in 20 years time and says hey I'm nearly 50! My kids have left home, what else is in my life to do now except wait to die!
I don't care what people who read this think, this is me, no lies, no fronts, this is how I feel and its my blog! I can write what I like, don't like it, don't read it, wanna laugh go ahead I guarantee that even if your a millionaire and have all you want in life bet you still feel something is missing!

I can't be bothered with Christmas this year, I'm pretending to be happy so my kids don't suffer and my friend's don't think anything is wrong. Why should I keep Christmas alive in my family!? I loved it as a kid, but my Nan isn't here taking with her, her phone calls saying "Santa's on his way time for bed!" and Grandad's gone too taking with him his Rum butter and home made pud's, My Dad wont be there to make me laugh and tell the stupid jokes that everyone's heard but still laughs at. No more under cooked turkey from my Grandma, or burnt puddings from Nan.
This year even my Mum will be in another country, sun at Christmas is all wrong.

When did growing up get so hard....Oops I'm nearly 30 surely I should behave like an adult, think like an adult, live like one.... What happened to that little girl so full of happiness, life and fun, where is she???

Happy ever after, yeah right!

Friday, December 08, 2006

Ok stop giving me work then!

Ok am now a worker/mum/cleaner/housewife/student/going round the bend pesron.
On the plus ITS CHRISTMAS SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've made my cake months ago its tastes nice so far I marizpaned it last night
two weeks time I will ice it! Then eat it! if stu doesnt first!

Anyway gotta go got so much HOMEWORK! to do shouldn't be blogging but PAULA keeps on!!!! She like my boss!!!! he he I tell her what to do most the time bossy cow that I am!!!

Friday, December 01, 2006

Soooo stolen but adapted

This sums up my typical day sorry to steal it and adapt it slightly Charlie xxx Paula you've read it although its slight adapted and Stu take note he he x

What Do You Do All Day?
Stu came home from work and found his children outside, still in their pjs, playing in the mud, with empty mac donalds boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front garden.
The door of their car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the house , he found an even bigger mess. The bin had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring Lazytown, and was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the worktops awaiting the dishwasher, breakfast food was spilled on the floor, the cupboard doors wide open, bowls and baby bottles on the floor, the fridge door was open wide with dinosaur ham and yogurt's everywhere, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken cup lay under the little blue kids table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
Stu quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over more toys and more piles of clothes, and books he had left there, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that she'd had enough and finally left or that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap, more toys strewn over the floor and apple shampoo all over the floor.
Miles of toilet paper lay in the toilet and overspilt to the potty and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. There was toothbrushes in the sink with toothpaste spit everywhere!
As he rushed to his bedroom, on his way he caught site of his daughter bedroom, strewn with yet more toys, paint of various colours on the doors, doorframes and walls and enough soft toys to fill Africa!

He found his wife still curled up in the bed (I WISH!) in her pjs, reading the latest ELC catalogue. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

P.S. the diet going great today it the new "eat lots of quality streets, that were also meant for Christmas diet" also had 2 mince pies and full fat Dr Pepper. Yeah "lards are us" I be their newest member! Well it is the 1st only 24 days til they'll be able to hear me in Oz! Shrieking at the amount of presents..that I know nothing about...has left.