My Mum is like the best Mum in the world! I know that most people think that but my Mum really is. Throughout all the things she has been through she is still going strong.
I never want to be where she is today.... Motherless as I really don't think I could ever cope without her. I know I moved away to start a life up here, that was more through lack of choice down south and because I was in love. I know I chose to stay after things went bad, I had made good friends.
I think that's when I first suffered with depression.
Sat in that flat by myself day after day, with no money to go anywhere or do anything except pay the rent. I had no sofa to sit on for a while so I just got use to sitting in my bedroom, watching telly ALL DAY. Sad and upset that the person I had been with didn't want me anymore and that I couldn't believe it was over. Looking back now maybe I was a bit full on with him but I never meant to drive him away with my future planing as us women do, anyway, that's the past now!
But through it all was one really special person my Mum! I later had friends like Paula, Mike and Stuart to help me, but my Mum she was a real star. I rang her everyday and she told me it will be ok.
Then when my Grandma died and I was alone up here grieving she was at the end of a phone.
ENTER Paula with sweets, ice cream and wine yes sweetheart I haven't forgotten you! Neither has the guy at the checkouts!!
Again when my Dad killed himself she helped me talk things through even though she was struggling to cope with it herself.
Enter Stuart with his 1am wake up calls with sobbing Lorna. I love you, you know I know I don't say it as much as I should but I do. You are there for me even though you are crap at housework and make me feel crap sometimes, those bad times we have are forgotten when I remember all the things you do for me, all the hugs and kisses when I need them, and the times you are just you.
When my Nan died it was my turn to help my Mum, except when I was in A&E with Gallstone pain on the day of her funeral, I needed her to mind Faith.
She was there when Faith was born, mopping my brow, telling me to push!!!
She has always been there, working 6 jobs at a time 7 days a week to provide for us kids, standing by my brother when he was in prison, helping out my other brother when he screwed up and needed her. She's always put us first, she's always done her best for us, even now we are all grown up and married and have kids of our own....nearly Chris not long now yeah I'm so excited! She still helps us is therefore us.
And then last year when my Grandad died she forgave me after all the things I said and the way I acted. When I just couldn't cope with my family dying anymore and lost the plot completely.
So that's why I say she is the best Mum in the world cause she is!
I am so fed up with work! I love the girls I work with its just my boss except me to do 50,000.000 hours work in 25 hours a week! She made me write a to do list yesterday it was like 50 pages long!!! I'm only meant to be PART time!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHH I'm gonna have to quit, I don't see my kids hardly and have got them with a childminder something I said I'd never do!!!
But I don't wanna quit!!!! I like work just not the stress!!! Guess thats everyone!!!
Anyway its just a stop gap until our business takes off! Can't wait to be my own boss! YEAH!
My birthday didn't start with breakfast in bed or even a lay in, I had no presents to open, no flowers, no special treats, no balloons, and no cake!
I had to buy my own cake and light my own candles and even start the singing of happy birthday!
But it was OK I had had my presents from the girls at work last week as we all went out and danced ourselves stupid except Paula the lightweight!!!
I wasn't expecting much but a lie in would have been nice.
Anyway went to get new lenses for my eyes, wondered around town and got some new underwear for my date that night!!!!
Got home after popping into work to say hi, (got nagged to go out drinking after my date) found my house was clean yeah, went to seaton with the kids and watched the sea which was nice.....then my date cancelled he was ill!!
Oh what now I thought its my birthday surely he can make the effort for day of the year!!!!??? sadly no!!! To ill to come out for dinner with his wife but can eat half a bar of MY BIRTHDAY CHOCOLATE!!!!!!
Why does he not learn it was the same last year and the year before that I ALWAYS make an effort to celebrate his birthday and make him feel special!!! WHY, WHY can't he just for once do it for me its only one day!!!
Anyway I went out to dinner and had fun!!!!!
This probablyisn't a helpful to my marriage post, but you know when you just need to rant and no ones listening!!!