I can't remember the last time I read it!
I have put down my sword, and am unwilling to pick it up again!
I know I should read it, I know I should follow it,
I feel like my flame is dying and the thread is fraying.
Nothings changed on God's side of the relationship,
I've just given up the fight.
He still loves me, wants to help me, so why am I so unwilling to ask for His help?
I feel like a failure, I keep getting it wrong, I keep making mistakes, I stop trusting!
I hate my sin, I feel so engulfed by it, I want to withdraw from people.
I know I'm a being a bad example to my kids, and lacking motivation as a wife, I am not very useful in my church, my mouth doesn't spread the word, I'm an embarrassment to my God.
Why can't I stop sinning?!?!
Why am I up and down?!?!
Why can't my flame always burn for God?!?!
Why is it so hard to do the right thing and follow God, why do I still think I know best??!! And am then surprised when it turned out I was wrong again?!
I'm fed up with confessing the same sins again, again, God must be tired of hearing my pathetic apologises, knowing I will do the same thing again tomorrow!
I need to read my Bible, I need to shake the dust off and start again.....
2 comments:
you helped me through a time when i felt exactly as you do now. it does get better beleive me it does. i am here for you when you need me x
Remember that you come back to him not to try again, not to try a bit harder to really please God this time. Because you will fail again - fact. Remember that you come back to him because of His grace. The slate is completely clean again - completely clean! The punishment has been 100% taken and God sees you as perfect, even though it might be the millionth time that you've messed up. However many times you come back, this isn't the time that you need to start doing a bit more. It's the same solution again - what Jesus has done for you.
Dwell on Jesus and what he's done, then you'll start to want to live for him, and not just feel you should!
Easier said than done, but I think it's right!
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