DATE MY MATE

Recently signed my very single friend up to a date my mate website as a bit of a laugh! She has had like a million replies even some from married men!!!! I mean some people!!!!!

On a more possitive note I had a great day with my mate Charlie yday. If she were a guy and I was single I'd marry her she helped me so much yday.

Also I am now part of the plotting for Charlies bday which is fun to be on this side for a change!!!!

I am in much need of another trip to the house of heaven!

in no way a clue charlie! (Sorry)

Paula you know the thing well I'm doing it so get michelle to do the other wink wink :-)

going now am meant to be working!!!

My test results!

Personality Test Results explanation

Neuroticism 99
Extraversion 67
Openness To Experience 16
Agreeableness 50
Conscientiousness 40

Says it all really!!!

I MADE HIM BALD!!!!!!!!

Well in the interests of saving a penny or two my friend Claire suggested I cut my own children's hair! Faith's is fine just trimmed some off the bottom. But poor Noah is BALD!!!!!!!!!

I started trimming as you do then it looked funny.... so I trimmed a bit more.... then a bit more.... and so on til, I had to get the clippers and shave it all off on a number 2!!! He looks like a convict!!! Poor little sausage. Claire thought it was very funny!

So here are the before and after pictures Noah seems unimpressed!

Before


After

7 lbs gone 60 million to go!!!!!!!

Why is it that every new year people start out with all these good intentions and plans to be fitter, silmmer, stop drinking/smoking etc but by Feb they have all gone tits up!!???

I myself am currently part of this trend, still trying to lose those baby pounds I put on when Pregnant problem is this time next month Noah will be 1!!! I will have no excuses then! Ok so between now and Feb must lose 12 stone! Well 2 would be nice.

Me and Paula minus Charlie (stupid family plans double booker you!) went for our wraps the other day being bandaged from head to foot in wrap was fun! Although you were unable to move!

I lost 10& 1/2 inches in 2 hours not bad!!!!

Why Paula needed to go I'll never know, stupid 8 stone sticklike person!

Oh and ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Paula you broke your blog ha ha ha ha ha ha its because you put horrid videos of me on there and on you tube!!! ha ha ha ha ha

PHOTO'S

Why do my friends hate me!???!!!

Why are my "friends" on a mission to undone the great work they did over Christmas. They spent the whole of 22nd Dec trying to convince me I was me again and I was worth something other than just a mother, wife and cleaner.

Yet they have made me feel horrid again!

I have always been concious of my weight, and even more so since having the children. I don't have time to make myself look as presentable as I would like to look, my nice clothes are just a tad too tight so I wear big baggy clothes!

I hate pictures of me at the moment!

But my friends put horrid video's and pictures of me on their blogs.... ok Charlie yours isnt that bad! But I hate that video Paula I don't think its funny and I feel ashamed of it!

Also it was filmed at a time when I was drinking way too much and feeling depressed which you guys helped me out of that friday. But now I feel like I've moved back to square 1!

You hurt me!

I don't like that but its happened twicw now.

You two together, are mean to me!

STUPID BROKEN PHONE!!! IN NO WAY MY FAULT ok maybe slightly my fault!

After such a great Christmas New Year sucked!!!!!

First thing to go wrong was I broke my phone!!!!!! Wont tell you how...it by no means involved me lightly throwing it at the high chair, after it charge £1.00 to send a sodding text it didn't then send!!!!!

Second thing to go wrong was merrily watching telly waiting for Torchwood to come on when bang! The telly blew up....smoke everywhere!!!!!!!!!! (On the plus we now have an excuse for new flat screen HD ready telly he he!)

Third thing happened today!!! I broke my computer at work!!!!!!!!!!! So I threw a spaz and yelled at Paula to fix it!!!! In the end I pulled the plug out stupid thing!!!

So I am now awaiting the quote for the repair on my phone as the stupid insurance ran out on 30/12/06!!!!!!!!!!!! typical couldn't have broken it two days eariler could I NO!!

Will post Christmas photos now!

Princess for a day

Friday 22nd December I was a princess for a day!


I bitched and moaned at Paula all week as I did not want to go "shopping" on the last Friday before Christmas. Words to the effect of "stupid muppet why wait so long????" and "My only day off and she wants to go bloody shopping"!!! Etc etc

Well first of all it was cold and we sat in the train stop cafe drinking tea waiting for Charlie. Then when she arrived we went for breakfast at the square kitchen cafe.

Then me and Charlie had 10:00 snack, (Paula didnt want cake shes too thin for cake!!) after which we brought me some new shoes!

Then we went to "change Paula's spa appointment" 3 glorious hours later I was facialed, nailed, and haircutted.

Then I get home and my houser has been cleaned by people!!

THEN my Husband talks me out for dinner.

I have the best friends!!!


Christmas dinner

well it was fab I didnt cook it this year miss Bell did!! It was so yummy my tummy hurt but I kept eating!!! Noah's first christmas, we had way to many toys but it was great.

Also the spiders are back!!!

Was merrily sitting in my business class on Tuesday night when I heard a scream from our Tutor. Then Paula who was sitting next to me lepted up from her chair with a scream and pointed above my head.......
Well it was like a scene from aracniphobia..... This spider (huge) was hurling itself down from the ceiling towards my head!!!!!!!!!! I rang a hid behind my tutor, Paula and the rest of the girls til one brave lass got up and squished it.

See so they are coming back for us they haven't forgotten beware!!!!

Sunshine on a rainy day.....

Got a letter from James Bond the other day (Sir Roger Moore) it was a thank me for all my support to Unicef this year.
I had been having a bad week (as you may guess from my previous post) and this letter which was really a plea for more money, so moved me with all the little children suffering and not having clean water to drink, let alone Santa coming with presents.
They are fighting for life everyday and all the thing we take for granted are pure luxury for them.

Really I am so blessed.

I'm not belittling my previous post those feeling are real and painful, I have a problem, and need a positive way to deal with all my grief. This letter made me think I'm not the only one suffering. I have friends suffering from depression and stress. So I'm not alone like those people dying from disease that cost as little as 2.5p to prevent!

Have been listerning to Westlife lately don't know why, only one song.... Flying without wings... it makes me think that I have such beautiful children and I'm not alone. I am married. I have a husband how ever crap he is at times, he loves me and supports me and puts up with all my crap, grief and hormones. I love him. And whats wrong with being Shrek and Princess Fiona! Still a princess!

Princess....

No this is not a post about Bob....

According to the book I'm reading, given to me by my wonderful friend Charlie I'm a Princess!!! It's not one of those books about men and women's power struggles etc and stealing their 'wind'.

It's meant to describe the search for a woman inner soul, and how it can get lost along the way, in amongst the busyness of life, children, work and husbands.

At first I thought nothing of it but the more I've read the more I think yeah that's how I feel....

I remember dressing up as Cinderella and pretending I was beautiful. I admire characters like Maria in the Sound of Music so plain, and in no way a match for the Countess looks wise yet she has a rare and beautiful depth of spirit. It is this spirit that captivates the Captain.

I want that meek, calm, innocent spirit. I know a lady who has such a spirit I think she's the most beautiful person I've ever meet. I strive to be like her she is a wonderful mother, a loving wife and a great friend. She always seems to make time for people even though she is sooo busy (as she has four kids!) herself. She always tries to be helpful and puts herself out for others. I long to be like that.

I wish all these terrible things hadn't happened in my life, losing so many people I love, I wish things were not so hard at home and that my children were less demanding. I wish so hard for my happy ever after, my life is not how I imagined it would be. I thought once I got the husband and the children that was it fairy tale complete. Disney/Hollywood never shows you the life after happily ever after. Pretty woman doesn't end with Julia shouting at Richard for leaving things on the stairs causing their child to fall down them.
In Last of the Mohicans Nathan says "No matter how long it takes, no matter how far - I will find you" not " What for dinner love?? I'm starving!".
The Beast doesn't stay a Beast he becomes a handsome prince.
Sleeping Beauty wakes up, Snow White comes back to life, the frog becomes a prince all from one kiss. (I wanna be kissed like that again!)

I have another friend who is so beautiful and has (without sounding gay) a body I would kill for (maybe slightly bigger chest :-)) but still she gorgeous. I would love to be her right now, freedom, and no responsibilities.
I love my family and wouldn't change them but they never tell you in fairy tales about stretch marks and other unpleasant side effects of pregnancy, like gall stones.
The wonderful awe of a newborn baby, then reality kicks in after 10 months sleep deprivation. I mean how do cleb mums do it... oh look I've popped out this baby, I'm a size 8 again, my hair is perfect, make up on and not a stretch mark in site! I love Britney, she looked so dog rough after her kids and she wasn't ashamed, cause you know what she human too!

My other best friend is so beautiful too, she is so kind and caring again she puts herself out for others and always is available to talk and cook!

Maybe I should stop whining!? Maybe I should just get on with it!? but part of me is so unhappy right now that its killing me. A piece at a time I feel I'm (Me/Lorna) is dying, and that I am becoming a whole other person. Someone I don't want to be, someone who wakes up in 20 years time and says hey I'm nearly 50! My kids have left home, what else is in my life to do now except wait to die!
I don't care what people who read this think, this is me, no lies, no fronts, this is how I feel and its my blog! I can write what I like, don't like it, don't read it, wanna laugh go ahead I guarantee that even if your a millionaire and have all you want in life bet you still feel something is missing!

I can't be bothered with Christmas this year, I'm pretending to be happy so my kids don't suffer and my friend's don't think anything is wrong. Why should I keep Christmas alive in my family!? I loved it as a kid, but my Nan isn't here taking with her, her phone calls saying "Santa's on his way time for bed!" and Grandad's gone too taking with him his Rum butter and home made pud's, My Dad wont be there to make me laugh and tell the stupid jokes that everyone's heard but still laughs at. No more under cooked turkey from my Grandma, or burnt puddings from Nan.
This year even my Mum will be in another country, sun at Christmas is all wrong.

When did growing up get so hard....Oops I'm nearly 30 surely I should behave like an adult, think like an adult, live like one.... What happened to that little girl so full of happiness, life and fun, where is she???

Happy ever after, yeah right!

Ok stop giving me work then!

Ok am now a worker/mum/cleaner/housewife/student/going round the bend pesron.
On the plus ITS CHRISTMAS SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've made my cake months ago its tastes nice so far I marizpaned it last night
two weeks time I will ice it! Then eat it! if stu doesnt first!

Anyway gotta go got so much HOMEWORK! to do shouldn't be blogging but PAULA keeps on!!!! She like my boss!!!! he he I tell her what to do most the time bossy cow that I am!!!

Soooo stolen but adapted

This sums up my typical day sorry to steal it and adapt it slightly Charlie xxx Paula you've read it although its slight adapted and Stu take note he he x

Joke
What Do You Do All Day?
Stu came home from work and found his children outside, still in their pjs, playing in the mud, with empty mac donalds boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front garden.
The door of their car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the house , he found an even bigger mess. The bin had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring Lazytown, and was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the worktops awaiting the dishwasher, breakfast food was spilled on the floor, the cupboard doors wide open, bowls and baby bottles on the floor, the fridge door was open wide with dinosaur ham and yogurt's everywhere, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken cup lay under the little blue kids table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
Stu quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over more toys and more piles of clothes, and books he had left there, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that she'd had enough and finally left or that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap, more toys strewn over the floor and apple shampoo all over the floor.
Miles of toilet paper lay in the toilet and overspilt to the potty and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. There was toothbrushes in the sink with toothpaste spit everywhere!
As he rushed to his bedroom, on his way he caught site of his daughter bedroom, strewn with yet more toys, paint of various colours on the doors, doorframes and walls and enough soft toys to fill Africa!

He found his wife still curled up in the bed (I WISH!) in her pjs, reading the latest ELC catalogue. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

P.S. the diet going great today it the new "eat lots of quality streets, that were also meant for Christmas diet" also had 2 mince pies and full fat Dr Pepper. Yeah "lards are us" I be their newest member! Well it is the 1st only 24 days til they'll be able to hear me in Oz! Shrieking at the amount of presents..that I know nothing about...has left.

More more more....

Some great questions for those who are like me addicted to all the bad things in life....

1. Why is it you can never eat 1 pringle or 1 jaffa cake you always finish the tube/packet?
2. How come peanuts are so addictive, I'm mean they don't even taste that good?
3. Why does diet stuff NEVER taste as good as the real thing?
4. And why is it once you open a tin of Roses (meant for Christmas) that you can't stop eating them??????!!!!!

I'm sure Cadburys are conspiring an evil plot to make me eat more of their products, after all I am their best customer!!! I can't help it.... some people do drink, some do drugs, I do CHOCOLATE! If I didn't love it so I would be like a size 8 or something!

Oh to be like Paula who hates it.... maybe I should go and be hypnotised it to hating it!

Or just wait til I've won the lottery so I can have liposuction.....that make be some time as I don't play it....

Oh well diet starts again tomorrow......

My little loved up baby!!!

All say ahhhhh my little baby Paula bear is loved up! and she has good reason...
She has met the fabest man ever. Its like her male equivalent, he's just like her, mad, insane and completely funny although not good at telling jokes!!!! he he.

Guess I'm gonna have to start sharing her again now!!!!! Oh well at least she's all mine tues and weds for the next 5 weeks yeah! And I get her Christmas day which I can't wait for me and Paula trying to cook Christmas dinner for my family and hers after a few drinks...... burnt stuffing anyone????

Anyway best go am meant to be hoovering at work..... byeee

PHOTO'S!!! Paula and Charlie will kill me! he he

my bestest friends and most loved ones! (stu made me remove his picture!!!!!)

Ok my turn for silly quiz!

Answer the following I will score you on your answers!

1. How many children do I want?
a) 2
b) 4
c) 8

2. What is my favourite type of chocolate?
a) Cadbury
b) Galaxy
c) Tesco value

3. What do I like to do when not cleaning up after my messy family?
a) Chill with my mates
b) Clean some more
c) Eat Choclate, Pizza and Cake (all at once)
(oh a toughie chose your answers carefully)

4. Which is my favourite Christmas song?
a) Last Christmas by Wham
b) Do they know it Christmas? by Band Aid the 1st time round
c) Merry Christmas everyone by Shakin Stevens

5. What do I love the most about Christmas?
a) My childhood memories
b) My children's faces when they see the presents
c) Giving my friends gifts and seeing them smile

Ok lets see what you really know Paula Bell and Cheeky Charlie!

Silly quiz Paula!!!

If you comment on this post:
1. I’ll respond with something random about you
2. I’ll challenge you to try something
3. I’ll pick a colour that I associate with you
4. I’ll tell you something I like about you
5. I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. I’ll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. I’ll ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours

P.S I put my dec's up last night couldn't wait any longer Faith's face is on video it was magical when she came downstairs this morning.

Sorry Paula guess I lost my challenge before I'd even read it.

off to mac d's to get sick Paula more milkshake x

Still broody!!!!

I'm still so broody!!!

But Holden number 3 (if there is going to be one) will have to wait!

I am in the middle of redecorating downstairs, we have the new windows, new floors and doors, just the plastering and paint work to do now. I may have a go at plastering myself I mean I do everything else in this house apart from electrics...wonder if the FE does a course on them....Not only do I get job satisfaction from doing it myself its a whole ton cheaper! My friend spent £5,500 on her kitchen, with builders, electritians, etc... We spent just over £1,000 and its the same morden standard! I mean what could you do with the extra £4,500!!!??? mmm big telly..... window's upstairs......new car......Trip to ELC.....

I'm back don't worry but I'm going now...

IS IT TOO EARLY FOR DEC'S?

With 6 weeks to go I feel its too early for decoration's but I'm dying to put them up!!!

Can't wait to see Faith's face when she see the contents of the early learning centre in our living room!!! (which has new wood lament....laid by yours truly... I'm well impressed with myself never done it before!)

OOOOHHH and it'll be Noah first christmas!!!!!!!!

Have got him a well cute stocking!! Now we all have one, the four of us, ready for Santa!

AND OOOOOHHHH I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH! A CHRISTMAS WHEN I'M NOT THROWING UP AS I COOK THE DINNER!!!!

although still can't drink......bloody tablets!!!!!!!!!!!

Roll on Christmas......