One day I will be with Jesus and my heart will fly!

I can't wait until I go home and be with Jesus! When everything that is on this earth will be made new and how it should be! God made it perfect and man messed it up! And messed it up we did! All the sin in this work shocks me, pains me, to think there is so much food yet so many die starving, children suffering abuse and harm from the very people who they are meant to be able to depend on the most. People being killed, robbed, tortured. Wars, famines, inappropriate relationships, divorce, adultery, drunkenness, and many more terrible things going on. This world is a cruel place, a hard place. For many they just want relief. Jesus offers the best relief! Relief from sin and suffering, one day may be not in this life but peace eternally with Him FOREVER! That's worth singing about! It makes my heart wanna fly! Jesus is amazing! The best part of this deal is its free! Free for us but cost Him everything. Grace is amazing! Getting something we could never deserve or earn. One day freedom from sin! Praise God! Jesus you are my King!

Jesus or Facebook?

Listening to Ben's sermon on-line tonight made me think about who I love more. Do I love Jesus or do I love other things in my life more.

What I spend my time on is what I enjoy doing, what I love doing.

Do I follow my family or Jesus? Do I follow money (or lack of money) or Jesus? Do I trust Him that He is able to provide or do I make stressing about the lack of money my God. Do I follow Facebook and its various zygna games or Jesus? What is more important that I serve the food on my cafe, harvest the crops on my farm, or that I spend time reading God's word, encouraging God's people or telling others the Gospel?

By focusing so much time on things that are not Jesus I am making them my God's not Him. I am in Stuart's words a whore! (read his blog to understand).

God is a jealous God, He only wants us to love Him and more often than not I don't love Him as much as I should!

I also listened to Paul's sermon on Faith, (I noticed 3 of my kids are mentioned in Ch 11 of Hebrews!) I long to be in Heaven where I will no longer sin. Where I will no longer put other things before God! Where He will be the centre of my very being. I pray I would remember every day that I'm not home yet, that I am on a journey, living in my tent. I am waiting for the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God, just like Abraham.

^{Hebrews Ch 11 v8-10}

⁸By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. ⁹By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise. ¹⁰For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God.

I'm not perfect yet!

After blogging on here the other night about weight lose I went

to bed and opened my bible and these verse stood out!

Philippians 3 v 7-14

7 I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done.

8 Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ

9 and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith.

10 I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death,

11 so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!
12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.

13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,

14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Love this song at the mo play it over and over!

Who are we that You would be mindful of us what do You see that's worth looking our way we are
free in ways that we never should be sweet release from the grip of these chains like hinges
straining from the weight my heart no longer can keep from singing.

[chorus]
All that is within me cries for You alone be glorified Emmanuel God with us my heart sings a
brand new song the debt is paid these chains are gone Emmanuel God with us.

Lord You know our hearts don't deserve Your glory still You show a love we cannot afford like
hinges straining from the weight my heart no longer can keep from singing. [back to chorus]

Such a tiny offering compared to Calvary nevertheless way lay it at your feet. [back to chorus]

Weight loss

Lately I have been on a bit a of a health kick, trying to lose some of the weight I have gained as a result of 4 pregnancies and poor diet.

But while thinking about my physical health it has lead me to think about my spiritual health as well.

When your on a diet every pound off is like a mini mile stone and you can quickly become discouraged if you are not losing massive amounts at a time. You want results quickly and it not be hard work.

I feel I'm a bit like that spiritually. I want God to change me instantly and help me lose the extra spiritual baggage, I've spent years building up. Those sins I've embedded so deep in my heart. I want Him to make it easy and me not to have to work for change, I don't want to give up things I love but still want the change. A bit like wanting to lose weight whilst still enjoying large quantities of chocolate, cakes and crisps etc..

This time round I have taken a more relaxed approach to my weight lose, as I am breast feeding our son Elijah, I don't expect to lose massive amounts of weight quickly (as that would upset my milk supply, thus affecting his feeding) I am happy slowly plodding along, with the opinion every pound or half pound off is better than gaining it and those small amounts will equal bigger ones added together.

I suddenly though that maybe I should take this approach with my spiritual growth, the Bible talks a lot esp in Paul's letters about running the race, keeping on in the faith, enduring to the end. Its not always about radical change and instant results. Christ is changing me day by day making me more like Him. So instead of being dishearten that I am always making mistakes and am not growing or getting anywhere. I am thinking long term, that slowly through every day life and everyday encounters and experiences God is making me more like His Son. That's what I want, to be like Him, not like me.

I know we (I) can come to God and He will take all that baggage away, but we (I) so often pick it up again and take it with us (me). Guilt is a big problem for me! When Jesus died He didn't just take my sin He took the guilt attached to it as well. I so often take my sins to Him confess them and then take the guilt back with me.

I toil for days over one loss of temper, one unkind word, one thing I should have done but didn't esp where my kids are concerned. I shouldn't have made that promise to them, because I've broken it again! I shouldn't have said we could do this or go there and then not followed through. I compare myself to other mothers and see how well they are doing and think why can I not cope? But what I should be doing is comparing myself to Christ and trusting that if I let Him he will make me more like Him. Ultimately when I compare myself and others to Christ I find we all fall short. So we are all in the same boat. So I shouldn't feel guilty that others are better than me at being a mother, a better prayer, a better wife. I should be thankful that Christ loves me to much to leave me where I am and is helping me day by day (if I let Him) to be more like him.

"such a tiny offering (my life) compared to Cavalry, but never the less I lay it at your feet, all that is within me cries for You alone be glorified Emmanuel God with us" (Mercy Me all that is within) I added the my life part :-)

Learning to love like Christ

Forgive me for being a bit thick! But I have been reading lately about how we are meant to love others (from various places in the Bible).
The Bible clearly states that we are to love others the way Christ loved us! Now I find that extremely hard to do...

Firstly there is only 4 people in the world I would die for, and they are my beautiful children. I find it hard to even comprehend the thought of dying for my husband let alone someone who hates me. But that's what have been called to do, love like Christ..... sacrificially! He died for those who hated Him me included! I pray God would put that heart of love in me. As I am ashamed to admit I do not love others the way Christ does.

Even down to the simple every day things, of putting others needs before my own. Why are we (or is it just me who is) obsessed with (my) own needs and wants to forget that others are more important than I am. I should be living and loving like Christ does, that's what the Bible commands of me. If I truly want to follow Christ and live for Him I need to adopt His attitude to everything thing, prayer, fasting and loving.

"Be like Jesus this my song"

Asking for forgiveness is the easy part but living for and following Christ takes gutts and hard work! I wanna follow do you????

Patience

Why is patience such a hard thing to learn?

My Nan always said "patience is a virtue a little bit wont hurt you"

Why do I never have even a little bit of it.......why is it so hard to get hold of!?

The Bible talks a lot about it so it must be something useful to have.

How do I get it, when will it come, how long do I have to wait before I'm patient enough.........

1 Peter Ch 1 really spoke to me this week, I know its talking about enduring through suffering til Christ returns...not waiting for this 10lb heifer of a child to arrive! (which by the way I class as suffering) but still God wants me to be patient because I am obviously so good at it!!!

God please teach me patience but be quick about it!!!

Prayer works you know!

I have been challenged a lot recently about how much I pray, I feel I don't do it often enough and when I do its just random arrow prayers for instant help and mostly self centred.

My new years aims is to be more organised and as part of that I want to make more time for things that are important like prayer and bible reading, privately, as well as with Stu and the kids.

The thing I find remarkable is that prayer works! I mean it really does! In spite of how rubbish I am at it! God is amazingly faithful and merciful. I not saying I always get the answer I want, He gives what I need and keeps from me the things I don't.

I trust that God has the best plan for me as Jeremiah tells us "for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future Jeremiah 29.11

I pray God will teach my soul to be still and listen to Him and His plans and that my stubborn heart would listen and mould into His. I pray this for my church, my family and friends that this year God will make us praying people who love Him more and trust Him wholeheartedly.

Trusting God....even when you don't want too!

Emotions are a wonderful gift from God but also I find that they get in the way of our walk with Him.

One minuet things are going OK God, is "on your side" and its easy to trust Him, sing to Him, talk to others about Him and follow the Bible, hey even read it!

Then the next minuet something awful happens, I mean not on a massive disaster scale, but an unexpected bill comes through the post, your child is sick and keeps you up all night, your friend lets you down at the last minuet, your internet connection stops working for no reason, you forgot to take the meat out of the freezer for dinner, or your blue recycling box goes missing etc, etc. So God must totally be "against" me now! I mean how could He let this happen!!!???

See how easy it is too lose perspective. Maybe that's just me!

Its often when I find myself controlled by my emotions that I think of Job. If anyone had reason to blame God for bad things happening it was him, but that's not his response.

"The Lord gives and the Lord takes away"

Now I not suggesting that God took my recycling box away, it was probably just the wind it has been windy, or that He stopped my internet connection, just to be mean etc, but the point I want to make is that why should we only trust God when life is easy and things work the way they are meant to or stay where we put them?

God is God whether its sunny or rainy He doesn't change, never has done, never will. He is faithful. Are we as Christian's not meant to be the mirror image of God. Jesus came to show us God in human form He didn't change because his emotions dictated to Him. Even on the cross in pain and agony He still thought of others and asked God to forgive them.

How often when I'm having a bad day do I forget to think of others and worry about myself!?

We trust in God at all times not just when it feels good, but during the dark nights, when your child is screaming, when you have minus amounts in your bank account, when some relationships in your life seem hard and bleak. God is there.

We trust in God even when our emotions, don't feel like letting go of that thing or person that's annoying us, we trust God even when we know in our head we should read the bible but we don't feel like it or can't be bothered! We need to pick it up and read! Lorna I'm talking to you!!! It's not gonna help you gathering dust on a shelf!

You never know God might bless you with a peace that passes all understanding, you've had it before you know how to get it so just let go and trust Him.

Still, my soul be still

And do not fear

Though winds of change may rage tomorrow

God is on your side

No longer dread

The fires of unexpected sorrow

God, you are my God

And I will trust in You and not be shaken

Lord of peace, renew and steadfast spirit within me

To rest in You alone

Still, my soul be still

Do not be moved

By lesser lights and fleeting shadows

Hold on to His ways

With shield of faith

Against temptations flaming arrows

God, you are my God

And I will trust in You and not be shaken

Lord of peace, renew and steadfast spirit within me

To rest in You alone

Still,my soul be still

Do not forsake

The truth you learned in the beginning

Wait upon the Lord

And hope will rise

As stars appear when day is dimming

God, you are my God

And I will trust in You and not be shaken

Lord of peace, renew and steadfast spirit within me

To rest in You alone

Copyright Thank you music

This is my prayer for all Christians everywhere, myself inc

The Potter and the clay

Been reading Jeremiah, and have been struck again at two things.

The first, that God is like a potter and we are the clay. Such familar words to me but when I really thought about it I was surprised by what that actually means.

As a Christian I have to be total dependant on and at the mercy of God's hands, which means allowing Him to shape and form my life, not me and my idea's. In practice this means doing things God's way at the cost of my own wishes, hopes, idea's and dreams. This doesn't mean that I will be miserable or unhappy in any way, in fact I know that God loves me so much that He only wants the best for me. If I allow Him control over my life, I will experience that real joy and peace that you only get following by Him closely. Quiet often when I make decisions for myself they turn out to be wrong or cause unnecessary hurt, or difficulties anyway.

So I need to learn to allow God to be in control and only He can plant that in my heart. I pray that He would.

Second thing to amaze me yet again, is God's mercy, the prophet books often talk about the destruction that lays ahead due to the disobedience of God's people, but almost after every passage about disaster comes a passage full of Grace and Mercy. God's first reaction, it seems to me, is always that of love and mercy first. Which is amazing considering how we treat Him!

I fully believe that God is a righteous Judge and will one day pour out His wrath on this world, but even now He is giving people who hate Him and don't acknowledge Him time to repent. That is pretty awesome and mind blowing to me. He should just wipe us ALL away, no one deserves forgiveness, no one deserves His Grace and Mercy, but He gives it all the same. Praise God for His overflowing love for His creation. In spite of how it rejects Him.

God is amazing and wonderful and completely mind blowing! Praise Him for His Grace and Love!

Real Forgiveness

After being challenged this morning about Real Forgiveness, I decided that it requires actions not just words. After years of not speaking to my biological father I decide to make contact through the addictive and dreaded facebook.

This is a massive step for me to take and requires a lot of faith. But if I truly believe that I am forgiven then I need to learn to forgive. I find this hard in all my relationships, if someone hurts me I tend to hold a grudge. I don't forgive easily, but I should. Christ took all the rubbish and bad things, I've ever done and He has forgiven me. Now that's a lot of forgiveness!

I can't bear the thought of people being able to see my deepest darkest secrets at the end of time, so I don't want to add to them by being unforgiving.

I pray Christ would help me become more like Him by be able to forgive. If He can cry out "Father forgive" them on the cross, after every slap, whip, torture, face full of spit and much more that He endured. Then I should forgive, those who hurt me.

I want to be Christ like, I strive for it, I want to be a more Godly Christian and I know He can change me and make me more like Him.

My prayer is He will do the same for you.

Why?

I never normally ask this question, why does God allow suffering, as I have heard many talks on how it is sin and a fallen world we live in and God gives us all free will. Which I firmly believe.

But this time I am asking why? I just watched a video about Baby P and was horrified by it. The things that poor baby endured at the hands of his so called caregivers/parents are just beyond words!

Maybe his death was an act of mercy from God, by why did he have to suffer so long? Why are hundreds of children all over the world suffering? I know God is more broken hearted about it than I can ever be, as He gave these children life, He knows their souls and suffering more than I will ever.

But why allow people like that to have children, when He withholds children from people who would be amazing parents. Don't get me wrong as a parent I am flawed and am by no means perfect, as are millions of others but we don't abuse our children.

I truly believe with all my heart that God is Sovereign and that His way is best by why, how, can these poor children suffering be a part of that plan.

I wish God would end this evil world and take us all home to Heaven so that their suffering would end and I will pray for them until this happens.

RIP Baby Peter

Open my eyes

"Open my eyes so that I may see wonderful things in Your law" Psalm 119v18

I love this verse it reminds me that its only God who can open our eyes and change us!

My prayer is He will open all our eyes to see just how truly amazing and wonderful He is because we so easily forget. Yes we are that stupid! (Well I am anyway!)

For God is fantastic "You were once alienated and hostile in mind because of your evil actions. But now He has reconciled you by His physical body through His death, to present you holy, faultless, and blameless before Him." Colossians Ch1v21&22.

Because of what He did through the cross we shameful and very much at fault and blame are presented holy before God that is something amazing and worth worshipping Him for!

Addictions!

"How unstable you are, constantly changing your way!" Jeremiah Ch2v36

Lately I have become addicted to a game called Cafe World run through Facebook, its pretty uninteresting in the grand scheme of things but very addictive if you like that sort of thing.

The problem I find is that I seem to go from one addiction to another. Which seems sad, but I feel I am not the only one. My children do it all the time! One minuet, this toys is in, the next its something else. One week they like this TV programme, the next week its something new. One DVD is so loved and worn out one month, the next it never leaves the box (that's if it made it back into the box not down the side of the sofa!)

Why is it that we loved being addicted to stuff, TV, Films, shopping, computer games?

These things in themselves are not wrong but when they absorb all your time so you are getting up at 6 am to play them I feel it maybe time to switch it off! I mean I wouldn't consider getting up at 6 am to read and pray! Much to my shame.

What I long for most is to be so addicted to Christ that I can't get enough of Him! Why is my natural instinct to love everything except Christ!?

Oh that I would long to love Christ and be total absorbed in Him!

The old is gone

"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light" Esp 5v8(NKJ)

Once we walked as if our lives were our own,
Once we lived for ourselves and our own gain,
Once we knew nothing of God's mercy and Grace,
Once we cared little for others and only for self.

Once we got drunk, swore and got angry,
Once we said hurtful and harmful things to others,
Once we were shameful in the things that we watched,
Once we told lies, stole and wanted what was not ours.

These are the things we used to be, or are they?
Should we strive to not be our former self?
Yet so often self takes over.
Should we not know better, now we know Christ?

Should we not learn from our past mistakes?
Should we care more for others than ourselves?
Should our mouths now have been tamed?
Is it not time we stop playing with sin?

For you were once in darkness,
But now you are light in the Lord,
Walk as children of light,
By command of your Saviour, Redeemer and Friend.

Lorna Holden

O Church arise!

O Church and put your armor on;
Hear the call of Christ our Captain
For now the weak can say that they are strong
In the strength that God has given.
With shield of faith and belt of truth
We'll stand against the Devil's lies;
An army bold who's battle cry is "Love!"
Reaching out to those in darkness.

Getty/Townsend

Last night I had an amazing time at our quiz night, I feel we as a church really got to know people outside our normal contact with them, the building was filled with unbelievers and believers all taking part in a fun quiz, eating and listening to a message about religion and Christianity.

It never ceases to amazing me how as a Christian I am constantly trying to do better(religion). As if anything I could do could make me into a better person! As we heard today in Church only Christ can change the heart.
It's like saying Christ's death needs to be added too.

I forget how strong the Devil is at playing with my mind, and telling me I need more, like good living, prayer and Bible reading. Which in themselves are good things, but they don't make me right before God. Only Christ can do that only, His death on the cross can pay for my sins. If I, who have loved Christ for over 15 years now (not always as much as I should have),so easily forget its all about Grace how can I expect others who are unbelievers to just suddenly start believing?

I long for people to know Christ and be saved from the darkness they are living in. But until the Spirit guides them how can they accept it? This then is surely a challenge to pray that the Spirit would work, in them and me, before I can expect salvation to happen.

So I'll put my armour on and start to pray, I wonder what will happen?

No one will be put to shame

Romans 10v9-11

if you confess with your mouth "Jesus is Lord" and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. With the heart one believes, resulting in righteousness and with the mouth one confesses, resulting in salvation. Now the scriptures says, NO ONE WHO BELIEVES ON HIM WILL BE PUT TO SHANE.

God's amazing promise is that if we believe, confess and put out trust in Him, we will not be put to shame. So many things in our lives we trust in and put our confidence, let us down but God's promise is He will never let us be put to shame.
Which doesn't mean life wont be hard or filled with troubles but trusting in God and His plan some how gives us a peace we can not get from stuff or things.

In the end, on the last day of time those who put their trust and hope in Christ will not be put to shame.

I'm trusting Christ are you?

Am I connected?

Lately we have been reading through John's gospel, and I am feeling a deep conviction about how connected to Jesus I am.

I love my kids more than anything, I would die for them! That's a good thing, that's how God wants it to be but isn't that how I should feel about Jesus? More so, as He gave up everything for me, He gave me eternal life, He gave me my kids, home, money, life! I am so ungrateful to Him I wonder why He bothers with me!

I know that the Bible tells me He loves me, and it that is all about Grace. The amazing thing is there is nothing I can do to make God love me more or less He just loves me. To be loved unconditionally in spite of all my faults, is something incredibly precious.

Its all gone wrong!

Since finishing work my poor little blog has been neglected! plus 3 kids and a degree means I have NO time! But is our Samuel and other stuff.

Flushed away!

Since last writing I have discovered a fantastic children's film called flushed away it is very funny! Plus Hugh Jackman is the lead so its doubly good! I now only have 11 days until my last year of my 20's begins!which means its like 376 days till I'm 30!!!!!!!!!! Maried with a mortgage and three kids! ARGH!!!!! I'm so old!

With less than 3 weeks till I am ready to drop I've been busy painting and getting things ready for our home birth which I am excited about as I wasnt allowed one with Faith and Noah. Faith because she was my first and Noah because I had Strep B so yipppeee!

Will post pictures as soon as Holden number three appears and as we don't know what the baby is we can't decide on names either so it should be an interesting arrival to our clan.

P.S Noah had a great birthday and loves his McQueen racing tack that we got him